Feeling constantly happy

Hi everyone!!

How are you guys? I wasn't planning to put out another post before New Years, but I just thought of this topic and I feel like it's something that I want to get to you guys, but also off my mind before 2020 so we can feel completely clear for 2019. I want 2019 to be dead and gone LOL

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I feel like being happy all the time isn't the best route to go. As a person, if any of you know me in person, I'm usually super bubbly and happy and excitable. That's pretty much how i'm described- Bubbly. But thats the problem.

This year, 2019, has definitely been rough. There have been the highest of highs, and some low lows. And i feel like through these, I didn't always show happiness because that wasn't what i was feeling.

But at the same time, even if I am bubbly, the question is, why should you expect that from me at all times?

I know there have been a lot of times at school this year that I have not handled the best with what was going on, but also what was going on inside of me. I could've handled a lot of things more gracefully, but I didn't.

People could tell that I was different this semester. They didn't know why, but they knew I wasn't happy at all times like usual.

I'm not completely sure where I'm going with this to be completely honest with you.

I don't even know, but I feel like I just want to tell you guys- don't feel like you always have to be happy. Sometimes, your face shows differently. That's okay.

I've gotten a lot more like myself these past couple of months, but also, I am growing up.

I'm turning 14 in only a week. I'm not going to always be the same giggly, constantly happy 9 year old. There's school, friendship, etc. All things that can bear a weight on you. They can cause stress.

Just realize, you don't have to be happy at all times, and honestly, I feel like people shouldn't expect that of you.

In this post, I'm also not telling you to act sad all the time. That's not what i'm saying at all. What i'm saying is, it is okay to not always be yourself, thats normal.

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This is a post that is all over the place, but honestly something that I just wanted to share and see if anyone else is going through the same thing. Comment below if you have, and what your experience has been with it.

-Izzy